One of the most neglected areas of ministry in our churches is that aimed at men. Some experts credit this extreme lack of interest in reaching men for Christ as one reason for the decline in American families. Most churches provide Bible training, discipleship programs and other activities for their youth, children and women, but too often the male population is left to fend for itself. Men are looked upon as “keepers of the grounds” and maintenance people in far too many settings. Many churches discount the value of having strong male leadership in the church and home.
One organization that addresses this monumental problem is the National Coalition of Ministries to Men (NCMM), which provides a vast pool of resources and networking opportunities that focus on the unique spiritual needs of men. According to its website, the organization “connects the men who disciple men.” NCMM is a partnership of more than 200 organizations, churches and individuals that build men into Christ-followers. NCMM doesn’t minister directly to men, but effectively unites the people and groups that are doing this vital work.
NCMM was founded in 1996 at the height of the Promise Keepers movement when hundreds of thousands of men were filling stadiums across the nation, hungry to know Jesus. In response, men’s ministries were popping up all over the United States. But many of the men who spearheaded these ministries were isolated from one another. Resources were scarce. Many struggled to survive. The big ministries couldn’t help the smaller ones because they didn’t know they existed. Denominational men’s ministries saw a flood of new converts, but lacked the manpower to effectively disciple these men. NCMM was created to connect and encourage these ministries to work together. The goal was to help them do together what no one ministry could do alone. For over 20 years, the organization has fulfilled this goal.
One local ministry, Gulf South Men (GSM) is an active member of the NCMM. Under the leadership of Rev. Mark Lubbock and Bax Kegans, GSM has ministered to the men of Louisiana, Texas, Mississippi and Arkansas for many years. In a partnership with Iron Sharpens Iron (ISI), another local NCMM member, Gulf South Men has hosted conferences and conducted numerous training events to reach and disciple men for Christ.
NCMM emphatically maintains, “Our mission is expressed simply with three words: Together, Building Men. We are uniting leaders to amplify their influence. (We) provide visibility, connection, and growth opportunities for ministry leaders to become more influential in discipling men.”
The spiritual needs of men across the country and in the Baton Rouge community are being met because of the great work of NCMM. Membership in NCMM is open to all Christian churches and men’s ministry groups, without regard to denomination, ethnicity or culture. For more information, visit ncmm.org.
Elmo Winters is the founder and executive director of Kingdom Group International, Inc., an organization that promotes evangelism, racial reconciliation and unity. He serves on the boards of the National Coalition of Ministries to Men (NCMM) and Gulf South Men of Louisiana. Married to Therese Winters, he is also an author and event speaker.
For many of us, the thought of studying brings back memories of cramming for exams in high school or college. Many men would rather engage in Christian action rather than Christian study. Through action, we can see the fruits of our labor and be the Body of Christ in our neighborhood and beyond.
Our goal as Christian men should be to develop an intimate relationship with God. There are many paths in which God can reveal Himself to us: prayer, worship, sacred moments, and fellowship with other Christians. For us to have a relationship with God, we must actively seek him. “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jer. 29:13) The Bible is perhaps God’s most direct means of revealing Himself to us.
Have you ever heard the expression “Stay in the Word”? I always thought this was encouragement to read the Bible. However, after reading the Bible we begin to learn that the Word is more than just a book. It is God himself! “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” (John 1:1) The Word can also refer to Jesus. “The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.” (John 1:14)
As we read scripture the Holy Spirit will help us to understand the message that God has for us. Therefore, we should not be surprised when different people read the same scripture and come away with different interpretations. They all have the right interpretation – for them. The Word is also alive. So you can read the same scripture for years and then one day something clicks and you have an epiphany and now you see a different meaning, application, or interpretation of the same scripture. This is truly the work of the Spirit delivering the right message to you at the right time.
Knowledge and application of scripture opens your heart to Christ. As we mature as Christian men, we try to grow closer to Christ. We want to seek His face and become more Christ-like in our thoughts, words, and actions. Paul addresses this notion in 2 Corinthians 5:17. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” Some may debate if the Bible is the word of God or a book about God that was written by men? For me, the answer to this question can be found in 2 Timothy 3:16. “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.”
Looking at the Greek word for “God breathed” or as some translations say, “breathed out” is “theopneustos” and means “inspired by God” or literally the very “breath of God.” I believe the Word of God is God’s breathing out His literal Word. The breath of God is all powerful and can even raise dry bones to life. “Then he said to me, “Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to it, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Come, breath, from the four winds and breathe into these slain, that they may live.’” So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet — a vast army.” (Ezekiel 37:9-10).
Scripture is inspired by God. We know that “prophecy was never produced by the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.” (2 Peter 1:21). It’s important to note that the word “prophecy” does not mean, in this context, predicting the future. The Greek word “prophēteia” means “a discourse emanating from divine inspiration.” Therefore, we can say that all Scripture is God’s breathed words and emanates from a divine (God’s) inspiration. In other words, the Word of God is not of human origin but originates from God Himself … and to study scripture is to study God himself.
Men should study scripture because it is totally reliable and without error. We should read and study the Bible because God’s Word does not change. It is as relevant for us now as it was when it was written. “The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever.” (Isaiah 40:8)
While technology and culture change, mankind’s nature and sinful desires do not. As we read scripture, we find that “there is nothing new under the sun.” (Ecclesiastes 1:9) Mankind continues to seek answers and comfort in the wrong places. The Bible is so important that Jesus said of it, “Man does not live on bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” (Matthew 4:4) In other words, if we want to live life to the fullest, as God intended, we must listen to and heed God’s written Word. The Word is the only offensive weapon in the armor of God. (Ephesians 6:17)
The Bible gives us a pathway to salvation and to Heaven. God’s Word shows us just how much God loves us (Romans 5:6-8; John 3:16). We are drawn to love Him in return (1 John 4:19). God extends grace upon grace to us.
You cannot lead if you are not equipped. The Bible equips men to serve God (2 Timothy 3:17; Ephesians 6:17; Hebrews 4:12). Scripture helps men understand how to be saved from their sin and its road to death (2 Timothy 3:15). Meditating on God’s Word and obedience will bring success in life (Joshua 1:8; James 1:25). God’s Word helps us to identify sin in our lives and remove it (Psalm 119:9, 11). It gives us guidance in life and makes our paths straight (Psalm 32:8, 119:99; Proverbs 3:5-6). Life is full of dangerous snares but the Word will show you the way. “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.” (Psalm 119:105)
It cannot be emphasized strongly enough just how important the Bible is to the lives of husbands and fathers. Studying the Bible can be compared to most anything else in life. The more you put into it, the more you will get out of it. I have heard it said before that it is important to know the Bible because you may be the only Bible that somebody else may ever see.
Dr. Todd Shupe is a Christian blogger and president of drtoddshupe.com, a wood science consulting company. He currently serves as president of the Baton Rouge District of United Methodist Men and is in training to become a Men’s Ministry Specialist under the General 02Commission of United Methodist Men. Todd is a native of Carrollton, IL and retired from LSU as a wood science professor after more than 20 years.
Jimmy and Jennifer Haas regained a healthier marriage and family life once James realized he needed to make his family a priority in life.
You can interchange soul for family in this verse and ask yourself the question, “So what are we losing in order to gain?” This is my story!
I often find myself trying to juggle the many hats I wear. I’m blessed to be a husband to my dear wife, Jennifer, and father to my children Olivia, Wesley, Sophia and Baby H. I’m a locksmith by trade and a minister by obedience. Trying to balance these is not always easy, and often the evidence that things are out of order becomes clear and undeniable. Such a case occurred last year as I found my house out of order due to my absence from home.
While I was out trying to fulfill the call of minister, serving the hurting and afflicted, I was causing pain for my own wife and children. I was working two jobs and doing a lot of volunteer ministry work. It became abundantly clear that my children’s attitudes and behavior were affected and my wife was overwhelmed. My physical health was also suffering and starting to deteriorate. I had allowed myself to become 40 pounds overweight, which was taking a toll on my everyday life.
It was during my quiet time that God spoke to me and said something had to change. I was neglecting the first ministry he gave me, which is the one that resides within my home … my family. God further revealed that my wife and children needed me more than any other ministry. So I began to develop a plan to intentionally foster relational healing in my home. This was a spiritual exercise between my wife and myself, my children and myself, and my wife with the kids. Basically, all of us were to focus on having one-on-one time together and learning to appreciate one another again. I made a commitment to wake up earlier in the morning to enjoy more quiet time with God, to do marriage devotionals with my wife, and to do some physical exercise. Additionally, I made a promise to not be absent from home for any two consecutive nights and to help more with the care of the children. I also took on a new responsibility – helping my wife with food preparations so that we could focus on eating better.
To facilitate the changes, I called for a family meeting where we worked on an activity calendar. We marked off days where we had to be somewhere, free days, date nights, and days for one-on-one time with the kids. We called this our “Connections Calendar.” After a month, we could honestly see some positive changes in each member of our family. As the next few months rolled by, I lost the 40 pounds I had gained and returned to my proper weight.
I had reconnected with my wife and kids on a personal level that we had not had for many years. Thanks be to God that I realized how things were off in my home and regained a healthier marriage and life. The entire family experienced improvements in the areas of physical, mental, emotional, relational, and spiritual health.
LaFont poses with his sons and sons-in-law.Daniel LaFont says he is proud of his brother Kilben, whose life was transformed by faith.
“And forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors.” (Matthew 6:12)
Most of you may recognize this scripture from what is commonly known as The Lord’s Prayer. Although the prayer covered several areas that Jesus wanted us to focus on, I found it interesting to note that after the prayer He stated the following in verses 14 and 15: “For if you forgive man for their transgressions, your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.”
As I read this again, I noted a big focus on “But.” Jesus went on to teach on a number of things, but He discussed forgiveness first. Although the Gospel is filled with the message of love, it starts with forgiveness. Jesus tells us our Father in heaven will forgive us, IF we forgive those who have offended us. And he requires that we forgive unconditionally — no list of conditions, circumstances, rules or “buts.”
Easy to teach, easy to preach, but “ouch,” what a difficult thing to do when you are the one who has been offended. How many times do we hear, “Oh but you do not understand what they did to me” or “But you don’t know how long this has been going on.”
I admired the courage of the disciple Stephen, who is credited as being the first martyr for Christ in the book of Acts. As he was being stoned for being a believer in Christ, he shouted out, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them!” (Acts 7: 60) The first time I read this I remember thinking – could I be as courageous and forgiving as Stephen? Honestly, at that time in my life the answer was probably no.
At the Last Supper, Jesus and the original 12 Apostles were gathered to celebrate the upcoming Passover. As part of Jewish tradition, they would have washed themselves beforehand and a basin would have been present for the washing of their feet by a servant. But Jesus did something very unusual. He hung up his tunic and clothed himself with a towel, as a servant would do, and proceeded to wash the feet of the Apostles. He even washed the feet of Judas Iscariot, whom He knew would betray Him later that same night. What an act of true humility and forgiveness by the Lord of Lords!
But we do not have to just look at the Bible for great examples of true unconditional forgiveness. Look at the tragic 2015 shooting in Charleston, South Carolina at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church. Nineteen-year-old Chris Singleton, whose mother was killed, shared a message of forgiveness a day later. Felicia Sanders, who survived the shooting and also lost her mother, prayed for God to have mercy on the shooter. Both said their lives would never be the same, but that they needed to extend forgiveness just as Christ would. This example of unconditional forgiveness is the message of Christ.
As most of us know, while Jesus was being crucified, He said to His executioners and tormentors, “Father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34). Someone once told me that crucifixion was easy for Jesus because He knew He would be coming back to life again. So I asked him — if he knew he was going to come back to life, would he be willing to let someone nail his hands and feet to a cross and put thorns in His head, after first being whipped and beaten to a pulp? The immediate answer was no. This person was my brother, Kilben LaFont, who later, by God’s grace and forgiveness, became a preacher for which I am very proud.
This was not an overnight change. My brother struggled with drug and alcohol addiction for years. A drunk driving incident cost him dearly … he broke his back in an accident resulting in two steel rods in his back. Charity Hospital referred to him as the walking miracle. He could walk, but was in pain for the rest of his life. Unfortunately, after he was back on his feet, the drinking and driving continued and he was sentenced to one year in jail, which he later professed saved his life. He accepted Christ and upon his release, we allowed him to move on to our property under some strict conditions. He joined our church and renounced drinking. It was a long path to redemption, but with a repentant heart, he proved that he was a new creation in Christ.
He worked with people who were released from prison, as well as several ministries helping people get free of drugs and alcohol. He preached the message of salvation to all he met. He was eventually ordained as an associate pastor in a local African-American church. I believe it was through forgiveness by Christ and his family, which allowed this miraculous transformation to take place. He was called home to be with the Lord four years ago, but he blesses me still.
I once heard that having a heart of unforgiveness is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. Unforgiveness robs you of your peace. It really does not affect the offender. Forgiveness does not mean you have to trust the offender or be friends with them. Forgiveness is a gift. Trust and friendship is earned.
The Apostle Paul summed it up best in Colossians 3: 12-13. “And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.”
Always remember that it is God’s desire to love and forgive His people.
If asked to list their abilities, most men would rattle off things like hunting, fishing, small engine repair, auto mechanics or something that involves their field of endeavor. While this may be an honest answer, it may not reflect the abilities God asks us to use when we serve Him. As men, these are the areas in which we try to serve, at least initially. Let me stay within my comfort zone and do the things I do well.
Men from The Church prepare for a trip to deliver supplies to Houston.
As we grow in God, we will find that the areas in which we believe we are strong may not be the areas in which God wants us to serve, much less the talents that He intends for us to use. Once we make ourselves available for Him, we will find we can do things we never thought possible. We will serve in areas we never considered. We will touch lives we did not think we could reach.
I found this to be true three years ago when I joined a team to serve at Iberville Parish Jail. This was something that I never considered – and, quite frankly, I was not terribly motivated to do it. I initially became involved with Hope Ministries out of my respect for its director. He had trouble recruiting volunteers, so I relented and told him I would stay with the ministry until it grew. Afterwards, I would step away and work in the ministry to which I thought I had been called.
We have worked with a number of men and seen lives change. We have seen attitudes change. Three years have passed, and I can’t imagine not serving in this ministry – all because I made myself available to God. Making oneself available to God involves surrendering ourselves to Him. When we are available to God, we are available to others. We answer the call that God has for us.
(From left) Chad Smith, Shane Tullier, Pastor Ernest Swanson, Pastor Zack Morales and Bill Hernandez were among the first men to go into the Iberville Parish jail with Hope Ministry to disciple inmates.
The answer to his call is not “why me?” but “send me.” When we are submitted and available, God begins to change us. We begin to develop new characteristics.
Humility: (Micah 6:8) We begin to think about others before ourselves. Our needs are less important. Our focus becomes outward as opposed to our way, which is made up of selfishness and greed.
Wisdom: (Proverbs 3:13) As we begin to grow in Christ and make ourselves available to Him, we begin to attain Wisdom in how to live a Christ-centered life. The longer we walk with Him, the more we begin to understand.
Focus: (Proverbs 6:6) When we surrender to Christ, service to Him is not work. We begin to enjoy what we do for Him. Our focus becomes not so much on what we do and its difficulty but on the reason that we do it
Not Lazy: (Proverbs 6:6) When we surrender to Christ, service to Him is not work. We begin to enjoy what we do for Him. Our focus becomes not so much on what we do and its difficulty but on the reason that we do it.
Pastor Zack discusses Biblical manhood at the recent prayer breakfast.
Truthful: (2 Corinthians 8:21) Truthfulness does not come naturally to everyone. Even those who tell the truth can state it in such a way that it can be hurtful and not help a person grow in Christ. When we become available to God, the way we present truth is in a way that fosters love for the other person and a desire for them to grow.
Love: (1 John 4:7) Availability causes us to love those whom we never thought we could love or those whom we deemed unlovable all together. When we are available to God, our heart changes and becomes filled with the love of God.
Zack Morales is a pastor and Director of Men’s Ministry at First Baptist Church in Addis, and a Network Project Designer for Louisiana State University. He is focused on making men better husbands and fathers through discipleship. He and his wife Stacey have three sons — Adam, Austin and Andrew.
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From left, Valerie Fine, Patricia Taylor, Rev. George Veal, Rev. Ted Fine and a young volunteer at a community service project.
Intimacy can be a tough subject for men. After all, real men are strong, self-sufficient and task-oriented with a special calling to spiritual leadership in the family (I know, not necessarily the politically correct thing to say nowadays, but true nonetheless – Gen 3:16, Proverbs 31:1-31, Ephesians 6:4, Colossians 3:18, 1 Peter 3:1-7, you get the picture). Women are the intimate creatures in God’s creation, and it’s better to let them do what they do best, and men to do what they do best, right? As it turns out, not so much, according to Scripture. And how (or whether) the Christian chooses to acknowledge that fact has a huge impact on the Church and its effectiveness in carrying out the great commission.
“How in the world,” you may ask, “can male intimacy affect the Church?” One of the more straightforward clues can be found in 1 John 4:7-8: “Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love.” The first thing to notice in John’s exhortation to love is that it is a universal calling: “Everyone who loves is born of God” which means that men are called along with women into loving relationships with God and His created order. I might add that we are called on equal footing with women (Galatians 3:28). That being said, what more intimate expression of the human condition is there than love? The answer is simple: None! Thus, it follows that all Christians have been called to a godly intimacy. If we are not practicing it in every part of our lives, we are not going to be in a right relationship with God, and ultimately, we will fall away from full and faithful participation in the Church.
Here’s where all this plays in to the whole effect-on-the-Church scenario: Studies have shown that the level of a family man’s (full) participation in church (or lack thereof), can have a huge impact on the rest of the family’s participation (by up to as much as an 80% swing in their children’s level of attendance[i]), regardless of the woman’s level of dedication. The takeaway: If men go to church, the vast majority of their children tend to be there with them. That’s not a hit on motherhood by the way. It is simply a fact that speaks directly to the importance of men to the family unit when it comes to their overall participation in the Body of Christ.
The fact is, we (the Church) must be all-in when it comes to having high expectations of unwavering male participation in congregational communities, expectations that begin with intimacy and the love of Christ, though they most certainly do not end there. The universality of intimacy called for in Scripture is not limited to defining male/female equality in things of God. Indeed, it extends to calling for equality in all people everywhere.
Selwyn Blouin, left, reaches out to community childrenEast Feliciana Sheriff Jeff Travis leads an ecumenical town prayer.
Last year, I became involved in the Kingdom Group Men’s Unity Breakfasts, an effort focused not only on engaging Christian men in greater discipleship participation, but also in encouraging cross cultural dialogue on racial disunity, one of the biggest killers of Christian unity in the United States. These gatherings encourage hard conversations, with lots of listening and a willingness to approach others with open hearts and open minds. The really good news is, the men showing up at these breakfasts are open to listening and growing in their understanding of other people’s racial and life experiences. The Bible tells us that the beginning of wisdom is insight (Proverbs 4:7), and insight is the beginning of greater understanding and the breaking down of the walls – walls of fear that keep the children of God separated and weaken the Church of God.
East Feliciana Sheriff Jeff Travis and Rev. George Veal attend an FbIJ gathering.
I am looking forward in 2018 to a year of massive headway in race relations and the unity of the church through the efforts of groups like the Kingdom Group, as well as other organizations such as East Feliciana’s own FBIJ (Firm Believers In Jesus) spearheaded by Bishop George Veal. Like the Unity Breakfasts, FBIJ aims at cross cultural experiences, offering monthly opportunities for joint worship between folks who look different from one another.
The bottom line, friends, is that all of these efforts begin with Christian intimacy, and men are not only called into that intimacy along with women, but are actually the ones who should be out in front leading the way to closer, more intimate relationships with one another and with the God of all creation.
[1] Smith, D. (2014, June 16). Swiss Study shows fathers are important to a child’s chuch attendance. Retrieved from opentheword.org: https://opentheword.org/2014/06/16/swiss-study-shows-fathers-are-important-to-a-childs-church-attendance.
The Rev. Ted Fine and his wife Valerie moved to Clinton, LA and began serving as lead pastor at Clinton United Methodist Church and Clear Creek United Methodist Church in July, 2016. They have four grown children and one grandchild. Rev. Fine is passionate about ministry, both inside and outside the walls of the church, believing that the real Church has no walls and knows no boundaries. His one great desire in life is to see the love of Christ lived out as it is intended by God and ascribed to in Scripture. Besides his pastoral duties, Rev. Fine serves as prayer advocate for the Louisiana Conference of the UMC, and chairman of the East Feliciana Long Term Recovery Group’s Unmet Needs Committee.
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On Saturday, December 2, I invited my grandson Joshua to spend some time with our ministry, The Kingdom Group, as we hosted our last Men’s Unity Breakfast of the year. He was challenged in a very special way as he witnessed what his grandparents actually do in ministry. I can’t speak for him, but I will say this recognition gathering was truly an extraordinary event. Nearly 100 people came together at Broadmoor Methodist Church to dine, fellowship and be blessed. Former Baton Rouge Police Chief Jeff LeDuff spoke passionately to the group. So many expressed their gratitude for this successful meeting.
Besides the experience at the breakfast, Joshua found himself in a unique environment later as he accompanied us to another event. While attending a Christmas bazaar at a church north of Baton Rouge, he commented, “Paw-paw, we are kinda standing out here,” a reference to the fact that we were the only minorities at the event. Although this was striking to him, I thought to myself, “This is normal for us.” My wife and I are often the “different” ones in many crowds and events we attend. For us, this makes life so much more interesting and a lot of fun, to say the least.
There is something special about being different. I believe it is the key to making a difference. In fact, God calls us to be different. He requires it of us as followers of Christ. Observe the Apostle Paul’s writings to the church in II Corinthians, 6:17-18: “Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, and will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.”
This is all about being holy unto the Lord!
God has called men to be different and to make a difference in our world. This difference must go beyond just being good husbands and fathers, although this is important. It also is not simply about being good men. God is looking for GODLY MEN, men who are willing to be examples of valor and honor … men who will lead like Christ in all holiness and unmovable faith.
Joshua Vernon, grandson of Elmo and Therese Winters.Minister Lillian Drake at the Refuge Worship Center in Clinton, La.Mr. and Mrs. Checo Yancy enjoying breakfast.
God desires real men who are not willing to shun their leadership roles in the home, church and our world. Men are called to make a difference in the workplace, marketplace and every place as those who have been given ultimate power and dominion by God! When men resume their rightful positions in the world, as mandated by God, then real change can happen. This is the goal of the Men’s Unity Breakfast. Real unity and change must start with men who are willing to make a difference.
The next Men’s Unity Breakfast will be held on Saturday, January 27 at The Church, 2037 Quail Drive. The event starts at 7:30 am. For more information on the Men’s Unity Breakfast, call Elmo Winters at (225) 305-3006, or email him at Elmow1@att.net.
Participants sign in on the morning of the December Men’s Unity Breakfast, held at Broadmoor Methodist Church.Men of various backgrounds come together to pray and encourage each other.Mr. and Mrs. John DeMondRoland Carey and guestDoug and Ana Benet
Reverend Elmo Winters has been in ministry for nearly 40 years, as an Apostle, pastor, church planter, hospice chaplain, Bible Institute instructor, and short-term missionary. He is the Executive Director of the Kingdom Group International, LLC, and author of two books, “Going by Going” and “OVERCOMING RACIAL AND CULTURAL BARRIERS, to Disciple Men”. Reverend Winters serves on the board of Gulf South Men and is active in Iron Sharpens Iron and other men’s ministries. He holds a Master’s in Business Administration (MBA). He is married to Therese Winters and father of 5 children.
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A man must model genuine godly masculine behavior to his children so that they will grow up as godly people and seek godly partners for marriage. That was part of the message from Retired U.S. Army Lt. Gen. Jerry Boykin at the September Man Up men’s ministry meeting at Greenwell Springs Baptist Church. More than 175 men attended.
Interim Senior Pastor Tony Perkins says the men’s ministry program had become less active in recent years. His father, Richard Perkins, had to vacate his position as director of men’s ministries in 2015 due to health problems, and the 2016 flood affected 90% of the church’s members.
Richard was sitting alone at the church last Easter and A Man’s Role in the Family and in the Church by Todd Shupe heard a voice from God asking, “Where are all the men?” He looked around and saw very few men present, and felt a desire to try to reactivate the men’s ministry. He asked Tony to arrange for Lt. Gen. Boykin to deliver the message.
Lt. Gen. Boykin serves as the Family Research Council’s Executive Vice President. He was one of the original members of the U.S. Army’s Delta Force, and was privileged to ultimately command these elite warriors in combat operations. He also commanded the Army’s Green Berets as well as the Special Warfare Center and School. In all, Lt. Gen. Boykin spent 36 years in the Army, serving his last four years as the Deputy Undersecretary of Defense for Intelligence. He is an ordained minister with a passion for spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ and encouraging Christians to become warriors in God’s Kingdom.
The General’s message was to focus on what he calls the 4 P’s:
A man is a provider, giving identity to his family. It is his responsibility to let children know that they belong. He gives direction and serves as the spiritual head of the family.
A man should also be a protector. He physically protects the family from harm and also sets boundaries to safeguard the family from evil.
The man is the professor of the family. He professes his faith and teaches life skills to children on how to endure hardship and build up confidence. A real man will teach his son how to respect and love women.
Finally, a man is the priest of his house. He is called to be the spiritual leader in the family. The grandfather should always be the priest at a family fathering. This means leading the family in prayer and scripture, and blessing his children and grandchildren.
Richard is a strong proponent of men’s ministry and believes the pastor must be on board to have an effective program. Follow-up meetings in small groups allow men get to know each other and feel safe opening up. The older men can nurture the younger men and this will build the church and healthy families.
Man Up events at Greenwell Springs Baptist Church are open to all men of the community. For more information, please call the church office at (225) 261-2246.
Importance of Men’s Ministry
When a child is first to attend church, 3½% of the families follow.
When a wife/mom is the first to attend church, 17% of the families follow.
When a dad/husband is first to attend a church, 93% of the families follow.
Source: The Promise Keeper at Work, 1996-1999, Promise Keepers Authors Dave Sunde, Ron Ralston, Bob Horner
Todd Shupe is the President of Wood Science Consulting, LLC and served as a professor and lab director at LSU for 20 years. He is active in several ministries including his Christian blog toddshupe.com. Todd is the Secretary of the Baton Rouge District of United Methodist Men, Database Coordinator for Gulf South Men, and volunteer for the Walk to Emmaus, Grace Camp, Iron Sharpens Iron, Open Air Ministries, HOPE Ministries food pantry. Todd is currently preparing to be a Men’s Ministry Specialist through the General Commission of United Methodist Men.
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Here’s my experience … Hands Across America, May 15, 1986 was the event. I climbed on a school bus from Leonard High School in Leonard, Texas bound for Greenville, 20 miles away. There we’d gather with millions of others to make our connection to the human chain, to raise money for starving kids in Africa and to fight homelessness. In a seat alone on that bus, I made my confession of faith to God that day.
“If you confess with your mouth ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” (Romans 10:9)
Fast forward to January 1994. I made the big move to Baton Rouge and landed my first job as an inside salesperson at J.M. Tull Metals Co. I married my college sweetheart, Kimen Stewart, and joined her at Florida Boulevard Baptist Church for worship. As a Christian, I had everything – a beautiful wife, decent job and a church where I could worship.
As a Christian, I tried to maintain certain qualities – good manners, sharp appearance, faithful church attendance, and a grasp of the church language so I could relate to anyone who was outwardly sold out for Christ. The downside of being a Christian in sales and still sitting on the fence was that I hadn’t truly made Jesus Lord of my life.
If a customer liked to drink and stay out late, I would hang with them, keeping my language clean, but sometimes ending up in places I knew I shouldn’t be, all for the sake of the networking opportunities. Because of this, my witness for Christ suffered. My walk with the Lord was compartmentalized. I was a Sunday, (sometimes Wednesday) only Christian checking my boxes and keeping a good outward appearance. That would all begin to change in August of 2000.
Dr. Jim Shaddix was our interim pastor, and I can’t remember the scripture or the title of his sermon, but I do know that he challenged us to lay all of the sin we were still slaves to at the altar that day. By this time my wife and I had been blessed with our daughter Kaylyn Grace, now 2, and I was moved by the Holy Spirit to go down to the altar to kneel and pray. It was on that day that I asked God to free me from my desire to be all things to all people and to serve Him alone. It was also on that day that I began seeking to become a Christian salesman instead of a salesman
who was a Christian. I took the leap off the fence. I committed to “daily deny myself and follow” Jesus (Luke 9:23) in everything I did. It is still a daily exercise 17 years later.
As I began to walk closer with the Lord, a retired chemical industry executive, John Wayne Hudson, engaged me at church and invited me to join him at his home for breakfast. He had invited several young married men from our church to join him and it was in this setting that I was introduced to men’s ministry. I witnessed and experienced Proverbs 27:17 and James 5:16 being lived out for God’s glory.
Through John’s encouragement and the bond we developed in Christ, our group and others in the church became more intentional in daily reading and the studying of God’s Word. I began connecting with other believers during the week. Through this group, I began to overcome the sins that had been in my life for years. This intentional living for Christ and studying His Word with other men made certain scriptures come alive:
“I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.” (Psalm 119:11 ESV)
“Iron sharpens iron, as one man sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17 ESV)
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” (James 5:16 ESV)
“But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:28 ESV)
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:25-33 ESV)
Kegans currently serves with Gulf South Men.Kegans, right, with Trent Sumrall, who connected him with Christians Under Construction.
That is my story. So how can you apply this to your life? Once you are off the fence and begin to deny yourself daily and follow Jesus, you are ready to live out Matthew 28:18-20.
1) In your home … Begin each day with prayer. My friend Todd Nevils says he rolls right out of bed and on to his knees before doing anything else each morning. Read a chapter of Proverbs or have a daily devotional.* If you are married or have kids, make it a point to spend time with them daily in prayer, read the Bible, or lead them through a daily devotional. It is tough to get it started, but they will love you for it.
My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers, Daily Audio Bible or other online devotionals can be sent daily to your inbox or your phone.
2) In your church … Pray for your pastor, who is the God-appointed shepherd of your church. He needs to know that there are men who love and support him as he seeks to lead his own family … that you are praying for him as he seeks a message in God’s Word … that you are ready to follow him as he follows Christ.
“First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgiving be made for all people.” (1 Timothy 2:1 ESV)
Join or lead a men’s Bible study or small group. You will not only learn more about God and His Word, but God will connect you with other men who will encourage you as you begin to share life together. If you don’t have a men’s group, start one. Like Jesus and His disciples, every local church needs a network of strong men’s small groups to “make disciples.”
A great resource to use for men’s ministry is pastorprayerteam.com. If you have questions about starting a men’s ministry in your church, contact me or Gulf South Men at gulfsouthmen.org. You can also contact Iron Sharpens Iron Men’s Conferences, a network of regional men’s ministries (ironsharpensiron.net) that can help you mobilize men age 13 and up to attend together and be equipped to serve the Lord and strengthen your local church.
3) In Your work … I’d never thought about ministering to men in the marketplace until I was invited to a breakfast by my friend, Trent Sumrall of Blum Enterprises. Trent’s friends were from contracting firms that managed projects for the local petrochemical industry and other suppliers like myself. As we met for breakfast the first Friday of the month, we encouraged one another in our walk with the Lord – as husbands, fathers, church leaders, and fellow laborers in industry. We felt the need
to call our group Christians under Construction. We still meet monthly at Frank’s in Prairieville. (Acts 2:42)
As you assemble a network of Christian men, stay in touch with them periodically to encourage them and be available for them to contact you if they need someone to pray with. God’s Word is clear for us to “be sober-minded: be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour ..” (1 Peter 5:6-11)
The Kegans family at daughter Kaylyn’s graduation. From left: wife Kimen, Kaylyn, Bax, and son Brandt.
Making Connections
Christian Business Men’s Connection, CbMC, cbmc.com > Local groups throughout the U.S. and 95 other countries, plus online resources.
Oilfield Christian Fellowship, OCF, oilfieldchristianfellowship.com > This is a great place to invite customers and connect them to Christ.
Industry of Faith Louisiana, industryoffaithla.com > Led by Dan Vallot, this group meets once a month.
Bethany Businessmen’s Luncheon, bethany.com > This group meets the first Wednesday of the month at noon near Siegen Lane and I-10.
The Gathering of Men > Led by Dr. Rodney Wood, this group meets every Thursday at First Baptist Church downtown.
Men’s Unity Breakfast, kingdomgroup.co > Led by brother Elmo Winters, this group meets at different churches each fourth Saturday of the month.
Bax Kegans is a sales representative with Intsel Steel Distributors, LLC, and for the last 10 years, has been focused on Christian men’s discipleship, serving churches and men’s groups through Gulf South Men. He is married to his college sweetheart, Kimen Stewart Kegans, and they have a teenage daughter and son.
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According to a recent post in the DailySignal.com, one in three children live in a single-parent household. This clearly presents challenges for the parent who is raising the children. A child needs an active father and mother in their life and when one is missing or present on a limited basis, it can be difficult for the child. Men face the same challenges as women in raising children, but some churches fail to offer programs and support for single fathers..
This issue is very personal for Mark May. During the day, he is the chairman and CEO of his own company. But his real job is raising his two boys, Caedan, 15, and Kamden, 13. May has been a single dad for four years, and he shares joint custody with his ex-wife.
Mark May with Caedan and KamdenPeter Signorelli with Seth and LukeJermaine Maberry with Trinity and TristanJJames Haase with sophia and OliviaPaul Murphy with Kara and Jaelyn
May says that when he sees a single mom, his instinct is to offer help and assistance, but as a single dad, he doesn’t feel the same concern from others. (Perhaps they feel that men don’t need help?) Or it could be that since most pastors have not been divorced, they are at a disadvantage in relating to the needs of single dads. They don’t have the necessary experience to relate to these men who tend to be quiet and low-key. As a result, church leaders tend not to develop ministries for them … the “squeaky wheel gets the grease” theory.
Single Dads Share Their Thoughts
“ it is important to remember that we are the church, the Body of Christ, and we are called to serve each other. The church has the opportunity to help single dads raise children as effectively as a single mom. The church can provide fathers with the confidence to know they can do it alone. ” – Erik Burns, Denham Springs
“ Churches need an engaged youth program to help children understand divorce and that God’s love is greater than divorce or anything created by man. ” – Peter signorelli, Prairieville
“ i would say the biggest struggle as a single dad was feeling the void that i imagine my daughter felt from the absence of her mother. ” – Jimmy Haase, Addis
“ Single dads need help to address the needs of young girls. Women in church can advise them on a number of issues and provide a strong faith-based woman in their lives. ” – Paul Murphy, French Settlement
“ Church and society seem to believe single dads can do everything alone and tend not to provide them with the assistance that they give single moms. ” – Pastor Jermaine T. Maberry, Crowley
A few close friends can make all the difference. May has a small circle of friends that he can meet with immediately if he needs parenting advice or emotional support. His circle is totally comprised of married men who are caring and very good listeners. They are a valuable resource because of their availability and willingness to help with any problem.
As for the children, an active church-based youth program is critical. Mark felt blessed by a youth pastor who was engaged in his kids’ lives and made sure they always felt welcome and had a good time. Because of an open door policy, the children felt comfortable talking with him about problems such as “Why are my parents getting divorced and what does this mean for me?”
Mark is passionate about helping the next generation of single and divorced dads. He does not want them to have to go through the same hardships he did. He says he “muscled through it,” but he encourages fathers to do more than that. “
“Keep your kids involved in youth programs at church and attend church on a weekly basis,” he said. “Engage them in Bible studies at home and reinforce God’s love for them. Show them God’s love with your actions as well as your words, and get a small group of friends or an accountability group that has open, confidential and honest communication.”
Todd Shupe is the President of Wood Science Consulting, LLC and served as a professor and lab director at LSU for 20 years. He is active in several ministries including his Christian blog toddshupe.com. Todd is the Secretary of the Baton Rouge District of United Methodist Men, Database Coordinator for Gulf South Men, and volunteer for the Walk to Emmaus, Grace Camp, Iron Sharpens Iron, Open Air Ministries, HOPE Ministries food pantry. Todd is currently preparing to be a Men’s Ministry Specialist through the General Commission of United Methodist Men.
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Proverbs 27:17 says it clearly: “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”
Men’s Ministry is pretty straightforward. With a strong men’s group in a church, i believe the church will be a stronger place where a man can bring his family to receive the Word of Christ.
Go back to the time of Moses when Moses needed two strong men by his side, Aaron and Hur. They picked Moses up when he was weak. Moses had a great family but he had two guys who believed in him, who would battle for him, and did not want to see him lost. And David – he had 30 mighty men he could call on at any time. He also had a friend in Jonathan, someone who stood closer to him than any other brother. Jonathan believed in David and wanted him to succeed.
I have a great family. My wife Brandi supports me and she walks hand in hand with me. I also have three close friends and one best friend who will battle anything that comes against me in my life. My best friend, Scott Pace, has been my support for almost 23 years. We have prayed together, stood together in battle, laughed and cried together, then stood by each other’s side when we both got married. Jeff Gaudet is a friend who put me in a headlock when I got off my spiritual journey and gave me a turnaround. He has been there to help me in my struggles of living the worldly life and the Godly life. Another friend is Jeff Lee, who saw
my ministry and was one of the first to give something towards it. He believed that God was going to do great things with my ministry and he even calls himself “my roadie.” Bax Kegans is another friend who always encourages me to be all I can be. He has introduced me to others in Men’s Ministry, which has opened so many doors to reaching others. He helps hold me up when the enemy is raging and always calls to check on me and pray with me.
We can’t be who God has called us to be without accountability. To live this life, we need friends and Men’s Ministry lets you connect with other men who can walk with you through the good times and the bad. As a man, I want to be
Paxton spends time with his friends Jeff Lee and scott Pace.
the best husband I can be to my wife, the best dad to Kyland and the best stepdad to Nick and Logan. I also want to be the best I can be as a servant to others in my church. Without having Godly mentors and friends that you can trust in life, it’s hard to do this alone.
The devil always tries to get the lonely lamb away from the pack of other lambs. The enemy doesn’t want to see you in fellowship with other men and warriors. He will have to fight three instead of one. With the power of God in three men, the enemy doesn’t
stand a chance. He can’t get to the weak servant. The Bible also says in Ecclesiastes 4:12: “A triple braided cord is uneasily broken.”
Men, we can’t fight this life alone. We need our wives and our kids, but we also need other guys to help us in battle. If you do not have a strong group of Christian brothers at your
Men at the isi Conference.Ken with his family.
church, find one. Plug into a Men’s Ministry — start one at your church or find out how you can serve and connect with others to have that fellowship. It will bring you to a new level in Christ to pray for and believe with another brother. It strengthens the both of you.
I am part of Real Men at the Church in St. Amant. I am also a part of Gulf South Men, a member of NCMM (National Coalition of Men’s Ministry), Iron Sharpens Iron, and Christians Under Construction. As a man, husband and dad, I need others in battle with me – and so do you. I’m encouraging you and inviting you to be a part of a Men’s Ministry at your church or find one in your area. If you need assistance getting connected, contact me at kbpaxton@yahoo.com.
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The Bible teaches us that selfcontrol is essential to living a Christian life. We must exercise our self-control or we become controlled by our weakness. Whether it is food, alcohol, drugs or pornography, the enemy knows our weakness better than we do and will encourage us to go to it rather than to God in times of need. Our lives can soon be dominated by our weakness and we are living completely in the flesh rather than in the Spirit. Self-control is the very essence of “dying to self” and living in righteousness with God. Our righteousness cannot and will not ever come from ourselves, but only as a means of grace from God as a result of totally surrendering ourselves to His will and becoming His disciple.
If you are struggling with selfcontrol, I encourage you to first begin with prayer and ask God for His help. Then, go into the Bible and study and memorize some particular verses that speak to you and your situation. My “go to” verse when my patience is growing thin is Proverbs 29:11. “A fool always loses his temper, but a wise man holds it back.” We must remember that all wisdom comes from God. So how does one obtain wisdom? James 1:5 tells us that “if any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
The exercise of self-control will not only keep us away from our temptations, but will allow us to be a powerful witness for God. You may ask how can I be a good witness for God by exercising self control? The best witness is one who demonstrates his faith with his actions. St. Francis of Assisi encouraged people to speak the gospel wherever they go.
Self-control does not mean that we are to go it alone. Life is tough and we need fellow Christians for the journey. We need accountability groups that are small, honest, and safe so we can be vulnerable and encouraging to each other. Christ encouraged us to come to Him with our burdens and He will give us rest. Read Matthew 11 and then fasten your yoke to a friend.
Todd Shupe is the President of Wood Science Consulting, LLC and served as a professor and lab director at LSU for 20 years. He is active in several ministries including his Christian blog toddshupe.com. Todd is the Secretary of the Baton Rouge District of United Methodist Men, Database Coordinator for Gulf South Men, and volunteer for the Walk to Emmaus, Grace Camp, Iron Sharpens Iron, Open Air Ministries, HOPE Ministries food pantry. Todd is currently preparing to be a Men’s Ministry Specialist through the General Commission of United Methodist Men.
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Baton Rouge Christian Life Magazine is adding a new monthly section that focuses on topics of interest to men. MAN UP features articles written by men, for guys and their families. Each future issue of the magazine will provide inspiring and practical information on a variety of subjects, including Being a Godly Husband, Fatherhood, Men Leading Their Families, Men in the Church and Special Men’s Events. Another goal of MAN UP is to encourage men to live godly lives by being genuine followers of Christ. Statistics show that when a man commits to follow Christ, over 90% of the time his family will do likewise. MAN UP will be written by people who are active in ministering to men and others with knowledge on a wide range of manhood issues.
Bax Kegans, Mike Grace, Dayshawn Russell, Dr. George Howard, Clayton Hays, Bruce Lininger Parkview Baptist Church, st. Andrew’s UNC, New Gideon Baptist Church, United Believers Baptist Church, Community Bible Church
Men’s UNITY Breakfasts
by Elmo Winters
“Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!”
Psa. 133:1, KJV
How fitting it is for the first installment for MAN UP to feature an article on a new initiative in the Baton Rouge area for men. The Men’s UNITY Breakfast, a monthly gathering of guys for food, fellowship and fun is the brainchild of two local ministries, the KINGDOM Group and Gulf South Men. It is hosted to inspire and motivate men to be the leaders in unifying the capitol city of Louisiana in Christ. This free event is open to all area men, regardless of racial, ethnic or cultural backgrounds. In fact, the UNITY Breakfast promotes bringing guys together by bridging racial and cultural barriers.
Men find Christian comraderie and lasting contacts at each breakfast. Michael ecuyer, Ron skains, elmo Winters and Mark Lubbock
Men gather monthly to discuss ways to bring unity to the Body of Christ.
Enjoying breakfast together.Winters announces the upcoming Men’s UNiTy Breakfasts.
After the racial unrest and division in Baton Rouge last year, ministers Mark Lubbock of Gulf South Men and Elmo Winters, head of the Kingdom Group International conspired to address the issues in a practical manner. Both men serve in organizations that minister to men and believe that the key to solving many societal problems rests in strengthening male leadership in the home, church and the world. Mark and Elmo agree that getting guys together is one avenue to bridging the racial, ethnic and cultural barriers that separate people globally. The UNITY breakfast is hosted monthly by varying churches and denominations. The different venues serve as godly settings that encourage and promote dialogue among the races.
The response by local pastors, ministry leaders and men of all denominations to the breakfast has been extremely positive. Support for the monthly gatherings continues to increase as churches are requesting to host one of the events. Thus far, four ministries, Ministry of New Life, New Gideon Baptist Church, St. John’s Methodist Church and Broadmoor Methodist Church have successfully held Men’s UNITY Breakfasts. The Church of Baton Rouge is scheduled to host the July event. Ministries interested in being a part of this tremendous work of unity in our city should contact Elmo Winters, (225) 305-3006 or Mark Lubbock (225) 252-3331.
Men from various denominations, races and socio-economic backgrounds take the lead in “Manning Up” and coming together as men of God.
The Men’s UNITY Breakfast, a monthly gathering of guys for food, fellowship and fun is the brainchild of two local ministries, the KINGDOM Group and Gulf South Men. It is hosted to inspire and motivate men to be leaders.
The simplicity of the Men’s UNITY Breakfast confirms that it is truly a God thing. Guys gather at a venue, usually a church’s fellowship facility, a host prepares and serves a simple breakfast meal (eggs, grits, sausage and the like), prayer is offered and men talk to each other. The beauty of this is in the fact that people who ordinarily would not be talking to each other are brought together, and dialogue happens. Men have conversations where they learn about each other. The venue provides a safe haven for asking the challenging questions and for providing the difficult answers. Real unity can only happen as is directed in scripture, “how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together.” Dwelling together starts with us coming together. Coming together opens the door to us learning how to live together. It starts with talking to one another. We accomplish nothing by talking about or talking at each other!
Arnold Bourgeois and Aaron Hillard
The next Men’s UNITY Breakfast is scheduled for Saturday, July 29th at The Church of Baton Rouge, 2037 Quail Drive, Baton Rouge, LA 70808. This event will start promptly at 8 a.m. and promises to be a blessed time.
Come and join us?
Anyone interested in providing a future article should contact Beth Townsend at beth@brclm.com or Elmo Winters at elmo@brclm.com. We welcome your comments and suggestions, as well.
Reverend Elmo Winters has been in ministry for nearly 40 years, as an Apostle, pastor, church planter, hospice chaplain, Bible Institute instructor, and short-term missionary. He is the Executive Director of the Kingdom Group International, LLC, and author of two books, “Going by Going” and “OVERCOMING RACIAL AND CULTURAL BARRIERS, to Disciple Men”. Reverend Winters serves on the board of Gulf South Men and is active in Iron Sharpens Iron and other men’s ministries. He holds a Master’s in Business Administration (MBA). He is married to Therese Winters and father of 5 children.
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